Tag Archives: Airline

Suviving EasyJet

I flew EasyJet for the first time yesterday. It’s Europe’s absolutely no-frills short-distance low-cost carrier. It wasn’t that bad, but if you know what you’re doing, the flight becomes a lot easier to handle. So, I put a story together for Gadling last night on how to get by on EasyJet.

Check out “EasyJet survival guide: six simple steps” >>

Fly the civilized way … new article on TraderDaily.com

Flying has become a merciless experience. Even in first class, you have to contend with cramped quarters and inept security guards. Well, Abercrombie & Kent has come up with a new way to fly. If you have the bucks, take advantage of their private jet excursion. The next trip coming up is to Asia, and it seems like one that should not be missed.

Read the full review on TraderDaily.com >>

Remembering past trips

Yeah, I’m antsy to go somewhere interesting again. I’m headed to Scotland in November (finally got off my ass and confirmed that). I was thinking about London for October, but now I might reconsider. Denmark is on the list, as is Benelux. I’ll have to see what Delta will let me do with my tickets. If anyone has some thoughts, let me know. I only have a week, so I’m trying to stick to Europe.

Well, while I lust after my next trip, you can enjoy some of my recent experiences. While Reykjavik was okay and Helsinki was a bust, I did have a blast in France.

Nice, France

Monaco (not really France, but c’mon)

Check out Montreal

My latest TraderDaily.com travel article has been posted. I had an absolute blast when I was up there last month, and I look forward to going again soon.

J’aime la Montreal!

So, take a look at the article on traveling to Montreal, then book a quick trip up there. If you’re in Boston or New York, Montreal isn’t too far up north.

While you’re up there, go grab a hot dog. They have decent dogs at the pool hall (there aren’t any pool tables there any more, just hot dogs) on St Denis. That’s exactly what I’m doing in the picture.

With fall coming, you probably think it will be cold as hell up there. You’d be absolutely wrong. Don’t think; let me do that for you. It’s beautiful up there well into October and probably into November. The air is nice and crisp.

Read about Montreal on TraderDaily.com >>

Read about Montreal on the Migrant Blogger >>

Diverted to Baltimore but Eventually Home

Well, there must be somebody to blame. This time, it seems more like LaGuardia’s fault than Delta’s.

[a considerable amount of time elapses]

Someone’s gotten his shit together. I’m back in Manhattan and happy. The flight home was a pain in the ass. The flight wasn’t able to land in New York, because there was too much traffic. So, we had to circle until we were too low on fuel. The plane was sent to Baltimore, where we waited until some sort of “hold” on LaGuardia was lifted. At least the cab ride back into the city was easy.

It’s starting to feel like, whatever I do, I get screwed on the flight. Montreal was the exception … the only exception.

I Hate to Fly

This isn’t a fear issue. I’ve never been afraid to fly, and I’ve spent more time on planes at my tender age than most people will in their entire lives. I’ve had super-duper-elite-medallion-preferred status on several airlines at the same time. But, for some reason, I have not gotten used to what flying entails.

I made it to LaGuardia airport an hour before my flight, already pissed because I was under the gun for a day job deadline. I was starving and dropped my pizza on the floor. Of course, I screamed an obscenity, though it was my own fucking fault. Just a reference point– this is the type of mood I was in.

Well, I guess I still haven’t leared that everyone working in an airport is fucking inept. Quadruple espresso: how fucking hard is that? But, I get it. This is ot were the folks who will cure cancer someday wind up. I’m coming to accept this.

I have particular hatred for infrequent travelers. Though I’m no longer on the road 40+ weeks a year(how I hated those days …), I do still get to an airport almost monthly, and I’ve been a pretty frequent traveler for more than a decade. My point: I know how to behave in an airport. These other dimwits don’t. It drives me out of my fucking mind to see them fuck everything up (like not taking laptops out of bags until at the x-ray machine.

If you can’t, read signs and follow instructions, you belong on a fucking bus.

Finally Home

Well, it took more than 24 hours, but I am finally home. It could have been a lot worse. Had I not been traveling on business– with a very understanding hotel– I could have spent the night in the Fort Meyers airport, sleeping on the floor and trying to subsist on fast food as both my Blackberries lost their remaining battery juice. Instead, I was comfortable, ate and drank well and was lent a Blackberry charger. So, I have few real complaints– excpet when it comes to JetBlue.

Friends Don’t Let Friends Fly JetBlue

Here’s the latest: my flight has been pushed back to 1:30 pm. The announcement was made, and no reason was given. So, I went up to the gate and asked why. The employees were not sure. Finally one said she thought it was high wind. In order to find out the reason for the delay, they have to decipher some small codes on the computer screen. I imagine that it must be quite difficult (not joking).

There’s a problem with is situation– aside from the ongoing problem of my not being in New York yet. the inability to decipher the reasons for a delay prevents JetBlue from living up to its obligations under its “Customer Bill of Rights“. As I mentioned in a post yesterday, JetBlue promises:


JetBlue will notify customers of the following:

  • Delays prior to scheduled departure
  • Cancellations and their cause
  • Diversions and their cause

I find it interesting that delays do not trigger a need to provide the cause, while cancellations and diversions do.  So, let’s even take my predicament out of the equation and try to figure out how, in general, the policy works for cancellations and diversions. Since the folks at the gate cannot readily interpret the information they are provided, how can they comply with the second two bullet points above. JetBlue is simply not equipped to follow its own policy.

JetBlueimply cannot succeed; it can’t engineer successes where they don’t belong. They have built a policy that matches the effectiveness of the staff: destined for failure.

JetBlue’s “Customer Bill of Rights” Is Bullshit

JetBlue has a “Customer Bill of Rights“. According to this policy, I was entitled to:


JetBlue will notify customers of the following:

  • Delays prior to scheduled departure
  • Cancellations and their cause
  • Diversions and their cause

Yet, somehow I was not notified. Wait, that’s not true. I was notified upon arrival at the airport. Somehow, I suspect this is not how the Customer Bill of Rights was meant to be interpreted. Of course, JetBlue is a bullshit airline. I submitted a complaint to them; I’ll let you know how it goes.

I Hate JetBlue

“Happy jetting,” my ass. i am not doing any “jetting” this evening. Know why? I’ll tell you why. JetBlue sucks. Big time.

Let me say this once and for the record: I hate JetBlue. I hate JetBlue with a passion. First, they left me stuck on the runway for more than an hour when I left JFK on Friday. It’s bad, but the reality of flying JetBlue. Let’s not forget that these fucks left passengers stuck in a plane on the runway for around 10 hours last year.

Well, they somehow canceled my flight to JFK this afternoon … without bothering to tell me. I showed up at the airport; the asshole behind the counter just told me that JetBlue was booked solid into JFK until Tuesday and had no way to get me near New York today. “Well,” I asked, “can you get me into LaGuardia tomorrow? Newark?” No to the former, yes to the latter. But, he didn’t even fucking offer! I had to drag it out of him!

In the words of my favorite cigar guy, “Amigo, cahhh’maaaahhhn.” Translation: This is bullshit.

JetBlue can kiss my ass. Due to the nature of my travel, I don’t always get to choose my airline. When I do get to choose, it will not be JetBlue. I suggest that you adopt a similar policy. JetBlue will fuck you over on a good day and strand you when all else fails.

So, I am back at the resort that I came down here to cover. In all honesty, it could be worse (as my wife reminded me). I am in a top-shelf hotel, and they actually upgraded my room. Now, I have a corner room with a large wraparound deck. There are chairs to accommodate around eight people. So, I am writing, thinking, fuming and smoking a Padron Anniversaro 1926 (natural wrapper, not maduro). I have some writing to do, so I’ll at least be busy this evening. Dinner is en route (a burger, I’m really pretty simple.

The hotel made solving my current situation very easy, and for that, they have my eternal gratitude. I can’t reveal where I am staying on my blog, as the article has yet to be published (hell, I still have to write it). But, if you know me and I deem you trustworthy, give me a shout, and I’ll spill the beans.

For everybody, if you just need a vacation recommendation, hotel suggestion, etc., never be shy about contacting me. I would be more than happy to help you out. Just go to How to Contact Migrant Blogger, or simply leave a message on any of the blog articles. If you do not want your post to be made public, please start it with “DO NOT POST”.

Just a reminder, my travel column launches tomorrow at TraderDaily.com.