Sorry I haven’t been checking in, everyone. I’m on vacation after a hectic pace at day job, and I’m trying to enjoy my time on the road. Also, I just had one of my Gadling stories picked up on the AOL.com home page, so I’ve had to review more than 300 comments about a story that involves fat people on airplanes. But, now I’m situated in Marrakech (after a two flights and two days in Madrid), and I’m ready to do some recreational writing and post some pictures.
Yeah, I’m antsy to go somewhere interesting again. I’m headed to Scotland in November (finally got off my ass and confirmed that). I was thinking about London for October, but now I might reconsider. Denmark is on the list, as is Benelux. I’ll have to see what Delta will let me do with my tickets. If anyone has some thoughts, let me know. I only have a week, so I’m trying to stick to Europe.
Well, while I lust after my next trip, you can enjoy some of my recent experiences. While Reykjavik was okay and Helsinki was a bust, I did have a blast in France.
Monaco (not really France, but c’mon)
[a considerable amount of time elapses]
Someone’s gotten his shit together. I’m back in Manhattan and happy. The flight home was a pain in the ass. The flight wasn’t able to land in New York, because there was too much traffic. So, we had to circle until we were too low on fuel. The plane was sent to Baltimore, where we waited until some sort of “hold” on LaGuardia was lifted. At least the cab ride back into the city was easy.
It’s starting to feel like, whatever I do, I get screwed on the flight. Montreal was the exception … the only exception.
This isn’t a fear issue. I’ve never been afraid to fly, and I’ve spent more time on planes at my tender age than most people will in their entire lives. I’ve had super-duper-elite-medallion-preferred status on several airlines at the same time. But, for some reason, I have not gotten used to what flying entails.
I made it to LaGuardia airport an hour before my flight, already pissed because I was under the gun for a day job deadline. I was starving and dropped my pizza on the floor. Of course, I screamed an obscenity, though it was my own fucking fault. Just a reference point– this is the type of mood I was in.
Well, I guess I still haven’t leared that everyone working in an airport is fucking inept. Quadruple espresso: how fucking hard is that? But, I get it. This is ot were the folks who will cure cancer someday wind up. I’m coming to accept this.
I have particular hatred for infrequent travelers. Though I’m no longer on the road 40+ weeks a year(how I hated those days …), I do still get to an airport almost monthly, and I’ve been a pretty frequent traveler for more than a decade. My point: I know how to behave in an airport. These other dimwits don’t. It drives me out of my fucking mind to see them fuck everything up (like not taking laptops out of bags until at the x-ray machine.
If you can’t, read signs and follow instructions, you belong on a fucking bus.
If the Department of Homeland Security can have a “Do Not Fly” list, then damn it, so can I. If you like to be enraged, consider flying JetBlue. Also, I suggest avoiding the Delta Shuttle if you want to get to Boston or Washington, D.C. anywhere close to on time. Instead, take the Amtrak Acela Express. The price is about the same (sometimes a little cheaper), and door-to-door, it’s faster even when the Delta Shuttle is on time. If you want to save some bucks or have a little extra time on your hands, the Amtrak regional train is a good choice.
Anybody who follows the woes of the air transportation industry knows that JetBlue has a habit of stranding passengers out on the runway for hours at a time. Well, a mistake by JetBlue (double-booked my seat) put me in seat 1D– bulkhead aisle– and within earshot of the flight attendants. Normally, this wouldn’t interest me, but since we spent well over an hour waiting for our turn to take off, I was able to pick up some insights.
Apparently, there were several international flights in front of us. I don’t know why that matters, but hey, they’re the professionals. Also, the flight attendants said (loud enough that it was for us rather than each other) that this was JFK’s fault, not JetBlue’s. As if any one of us gave a shit … It didn’t help that the pilot told us three times that we’d be taking off shortly.
The best muttered-just-loud-enough-for-the-passengers excuse, though, was that Delta was at fault. They sent out three planes, according to one flight attendant, with hardly any passengers on them. Delta did this just to fuck up traffic. Apparently, they do this all the time.
Now, I hate Delta Airlines. With a passion. But, this was too much even for me to stomach. And, I’d believe almost anything bad said about Delta. C’mon, JetBlue. Just admit it. You suck.