A big bowl of dumbass

Photo by Bryce Longton

Photo by Bryce Longton

I’ve been out of the army for close to 10 years, but every now and then, I see something that whisks me back in time. Today was one of those days.  Sorry, I won’t name names or provide descriptions. I won’t even tell you what the gump did. But, I can tell you about the memory it provoked.

I went to basic training at Fort Sill back in 1994. I was still at the Reception Battalion; I hadn’t even started basic yet. Someone did something stupid. I can’t remember what, exactly. It was 15 fucking years ago. The response, though, I’ll never forget.

A sergeant (not of the “drill” variety) asked, almost with disappointed, “Did you have a big bowl of dumbass this morning?” He sighed before continuing, “They have all kindsa good shit in the chow hall. Corn flakes, fruit, eggs. Why the dumbass?” Almost sounding desperate, he pleaded, “Why’d you do it, private? Why’d you go for the bowl of dumbass?”

Yeah, a question I would have loved to ask today.

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