Stick me with my family for a weekend, and expect the absurd. It’s going to take me a while to write everything, and it won’t be in order. But, I need to start somewhere. Let me start with my brother, Bret. I suspect he has a future as a cult leader.

When we were lighting fireworks off the beach, a misfire occurred. The fireworks from one back started shooting anywhere but straight up. One, unfortunately, shot out and found my brother’s nads. Ouch. It didn’t burn, but the problem was one of impact. The pounding of the firework was like a hard kick in the ol’ nutsack.

He curled up on the beach in agony, as the rest of us continued to smoke our cigars. When we got back to my father’s house, Bret put together an ice pack from the freezer and gestured to thank us for our support in his time of need.


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